Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
