And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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