Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
