Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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