dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
