This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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