i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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