you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
