After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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