lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
