think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
