How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
