HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
