I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drake has all the answers
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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