you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
