Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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