idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
