I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize