would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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