the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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