i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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