Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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