I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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