Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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