Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
