I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
