Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
