You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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