I could make wine with my vomit
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
