Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
