All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to calm my uterus...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
