I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
