got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
