Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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