Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
