I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize