just tell him i said nine months
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
