Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
