Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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