I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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