so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
