omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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