So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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