If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You left your phone here
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