doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
