So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
