a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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