My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
