you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
