I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
