VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
