you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
