we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
