does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think brook has ever known best
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
did i just pee glitter
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
