You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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