i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize