once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
