I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
