Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
