i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How naked do you want me to be?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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