Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
