Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
