Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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