I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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