i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
