Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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