sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
