I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When did angry sex become our thing?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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