I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
